Love It or Leave It: The Game-Changing Rule for Shopping
I hate shopping for clothing. I hate leaving my house, I hate trying stuff on, and I hate spending $50 on a sweater that’s mediocre at best.
You might think that avoiding shopping gives me an advantage in saving money, but sadly the reality is actually the opposite. I have to wear clothes (and so do my growing kids), so we must make periodic purchases. And avoidance actually results in wasting more and saving less.
Because I loathe the process of clothing shopping, I tend to put it off until I’m desperate. Then I go somewhere, grab something ANYTHING. I end up settling for fine enough because at the point of desperation, need overpowers discernment. And my $50 mediocre sweater stays folded in the closet unworn.
Ugh.
Throwing good money at a bad item doesn’t actually check it off the list, does it?
A few years ago I caught on to this wasteful pattern, and gave it some serious thought. Why is this happening? How can I change it? With some awareness and practice I was able to change the results and confidently waste less and wear more.
I did this with one simple rule.
Love It or Leave It
For clothing I also use three guidelines to help me quickly recognize what I love. Knowing these guidelines helps me save time and - yup - save money.
Here’s how.
As usual we start with reflection. Think about purchases you’ve made that didn’t work for you. When I looked on my closet shelf I saw three categories of sweaters I didn’t wear: wrong color (beige looks great on many people, but I am not one of them), wrong shape (good color on me but unflattering fit or wrong size), and not comfortable (itchy or clingy).
From this discovery you can start to identify guidelines (non-negotiables) to help make sure you love your future purchases and they don’t die on a closet shelf.
My three specific guidelines for clothing:
Right colors (green, blue, purple, black, & white are the ones my cool-toned pink skin needs to look alive and not washed out)
Flattering fit (long enough but not too long, shape-defining but not too clingy)
Comfortable (soft & roomy, something I don’t have to spend all day tugging on or struggling with)
If an item doesn’t check these three boxes, I won’t love it. And if I don’t love it, I leave it. The end.
Now I don’t enjoy leaving a store empty-handed because it can feel like a wasted trip. But if you reframe that trip as a learning experience - like “oh okay, boat necks are not for me” - then it’s not wasted. It’s more detail for your guideline list. And an unpurchased sweater that taught you something is exponentially better than settling for less than love.
Settling for less than love is common in other shopping, not just clothing. Often with higher stakes and higher price tags. Ever settled for a not-quite-right car because you’re “over” car shopping? I know I have. Or have you overpaid on a car for the same reason?
Perfection may not exist for what you’re shopping for. In fact, it probably doesn’t. In my industry (logistics and supply chain) we have a saying that goes “Fast, Good, or Cheap. You can have two but not all three.” Usually we have to settle. But it’s our choice on where we settle. That’s where your guidelines can make the decision much easier.
How to create guidelines for any item:
Reflect & discover
What are you willing to settle on?
What are you not willing to settle on?
Get specific. Write down what you love if that helps. Take the list with you and practice.
Have grace and see each step as learning. Even the mistakes - ESPECIALLY the mistakes.
You’re the boss here. This means the things you settle for can be different for every item. You get to make the rules. After all, they stem from your values, no one else’s
Embracing the Love It or Leave It philosophy will help you gain control over your shopping choices, ensuring every purchase aligns with your values. Remember, settling for less than love is a compromise you no longer need to make.
If you’re ready to transform both your shopping habits and your overall financial well-being, I’m here to guide you. Let’s work together to redefine your relationship with money and set you on a path towards financial freedom. Contact me for personalized and empowering personal finance coaching – your journey to financial clarity starts now.