Managing Money with a Partner: How to Split Finances

Here’s one for the couples — married or partnered. Do you split finances, combine all your money, or operate with a hybrid of the two?

From my experience talking with couples, most tell me they manage money together, but that tends to vary in practice. Managing money and the division of money are very different. Let’s discuss.

Most couples take one of three approaches — their money is completely separate; their money is completely combined; or their money is partially combined, partially separate.

For couples who keep their money completely separate, sometimes one partner covers the rent/mortgage and the other covers groceries and other household expenses. Sometimes it’s a 50/50 split and they each contribute half of everything to run the home and life. I’ve even heard from couples who operate with a ratio split, where the higher earning partner pays a higher percentage, equal to their earning ratio. So if spouse #1 earns 70% of the total household income then that spouse contributes to 70% of the bills and spouse #2 contributes 30%.

With a divided money approach, each partner retains some financial independence and autonomy. Especially where there’s a large disparity between financial starting points, this can be a great method for preserving individual finances.

For couples who combine all their money into a single spending account, there are benefits as well. Combining finances creates a sense of unity, as both partners have pushed their chips all in, so to speak.

The “united not divided” concept has always resonated with me for my own marriages, but to preserve some independence and freedom to make individual purchases, I like a hybrid concept even more. The hybrid model is where household and family spending money is combined and each partner maintains an individual account or budget for discretionary spending.

For couples with one compensated working spouse and one uncompensated working spouse (your stay-at-home parent, in this example), a combined or hybrid approach can level the financial playing field and balance the home dynamic. Again, providing a sense of unity.

But in a case where financial infidelity is or has been present in the partnership, some independence might be very important. Whether that’s a hybrid or divided model, I recommend some form of splitting money to build or rebuild trust.

HOW your household money is split is actually not the point at all. It’s WHY. And both partners being aligned to the plan is the most important decision, not how many bank accounts you have or what’s in them.

Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to managing finances as a couple. Whether you choose to keep your finances separate, combine them, or opt for a hybrid approach, the key is open communication and alignment with your partner. Financial management is less about the specific method you choose and more about ensuring both partners feel respected, secure, and valued in the process. As your life and circumstances change, so too can your financial arrangements. The flexibility to adapt and pivot as needed is vital for a healthy financial partnership.

Remember, the goal is to create a system that supports both of you, fosters trust, and helps you achieve your shared financial goals.

How do you and your partner manage money together? Are your accounts separate, combined, or a hybrid, and why?